Broaden Your Definition of Sex

Broaden your definition of sex, and you will start to enjoy it more.

Focusing only on intercourse leads to sex losing its sensuality and feeling like a task. Go back to the days where just touching each other was enjoyable on its own.

Reposted from @sexsmarts via instagram

Foreplay is typically defined as kissing, caressing, oral sex, hand jobs, breast play—essentially everything that comes before penis in vagina (or anal) penetration. Here are the problems with this idea:

1. Any and all consensual sex and touch is something to enjoy and find pleasure in, regardless of which body parts meet.

2. For many people who have vaginas, the clitoris is where the good times are. So oral sex and hand jobs might be a more effective way for that person to come than penetration alone. Check in with your partner about what works best for them to get them off. It doesn’t mean that penetration can’t/won’t happen, but it may mean you also need to give more dedicated attention to other parts.

3. Oral sex = sex. It’s in the name!

4. Kissing and caressing should not be a means to an end, but an important part ofexpressing intimacy.

5. If you have a partner with sensitive nipples, don’t underestimate the intense arousal that comes with playing with them. Some people even come from nipple stimulation alone!

6. It is heterocentric and ableist to assume that all “good” sex includes penises, vaginas, or penetration. So don’t do that. What works for you may not be the thing for someone else.

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